


What are we waiting for?

by HedaEarp



Category: The 100 (TV), clexa - Fandom
Genre: F/F, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, G!p Lexa, Girl Penis Lexa, Shameless Smut, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2019-04-16
Packaged: 2019-09-18 05:51:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16989249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HedaEarp/pseuds/HedaEarp
Summary: When friends become a little more than friends.





	1. Chapter 1

“Lexa?” I hear Clarke call out into the apartment we share. 

“Yeah?” I holler back, zero energy to go find out what she wants. 

We’ve been friends since sophomore year in high school. We’ve gotten considerably close over the last several years. High school was high school but college came with some changes. We’ve learned intimate details about each other, becoming more honest. Our friends constantly joke about us hooking up but we’ve never crossed that line. Even though she’s said several times while drunk that she’d totally hook up with me. Neither of us pushed for anything more. I love her though, she my person. I’d do anything for her. Sometimes I stop and think maybe we would make a great couple. 

A few minutes later she finally appears in my doorway leaning against it with arms crossed. She’s clearly been to her room to shed her daily clothes into something more comfortable, a large shirt hanging about her shoulders reaches down to mid thigh. “You’ll never believe what happened to me today.” 

“What?” I ask, spread out on my back, clearly no will to get up. 

She wanders over casually crawling up the bed and straddling my lap. This is nothing new for us. Like I said, we’re close. Sitting on one another is not new territory so I adjust my head against my pillow so I’m more comfortable as I look up at her. 

She adjusts herself knowing she could hurt me if she sits the wrong way, her hands patting against my stomach. “That customer came back, the one I was telling you about?” She asks to see if I remember.

“That one with the let me speak to your manager haircut?” I recall, my hands moving to rest on the tops of her thighs.

“Yeah that one.” She rolls her eyes, moving her body slightly in annoyance, I think nothing of it.

She goes on and on about this woman and how much she despises her, shifting herself from time to time. I try to stay focused but honestly it’s becoming distracting. At one point in her story she almost shouts as she practically grinds herself down against my groin and I know instantly I’m in trouble. I try to shift myself under her so she moves closer to my stomach but to no avail she continues.

“Are you listening?” She looks at me suddenly, eyes narrowed.

“What?” My eyes go wide. “Yes, of course.”

“Ok,” she continues on her rant, continuing to shift herself. 

I know I’m doomed at this point because I can feel myself getting harder by the second. I’m trying desperately to think of anything but Clarke Griffin rubbing herself against my dick but it’s basically impossible when that’s exactly what’s happening. 

“Clarke,” I say, trying to get her attention but she keeps talking. “Clarke,” I try again a little louder this time.

“Hold on I’m not finished yet, I need to get this off my chest.” She rambles, her hands animatedly talking along with her mouth. 

I try really hard to squirm away but she has me firmly in place. Now I know I’m going out of my mind but I swear she actually grinds down against my hardening dick, which takes my breath away. 

I look up at the ceiling thinking maybe if I don’t look at her I can focus better but then I feel her hand slide between us and she cups me, her fingers moving slowly over the curve of my bulge.

“Clarke what,” I gasp, my eyes suddenly glued to her hand.

“Lexa please, I really need to finish this story.” She says almost pleading.

I look up at her dumbfounded. Have I really lost my mind? Is this really happening? I nod dumbly.

“Thank you.” She replies, her story never ending.

She’s adjusted now, back far enough into my thighs that she can grip my loose shorts and pulls the waistband down, exposing my cock. Her hand gently grips it as she begins to slide it up and down in gentle measurements as if she’s testing out the weight and feel of it. Still her story continues.

I swear to you I could cum right then and there. Of course she said she’d fuck me in a drunken stupor but I never thought it would actually happen. She’s literally jerking me off right now, without a word about it like it’s a causal friend thing we do, like sitting in ones lap. Yes I think about her when I masturbate but how could you not, the girl is gorgeous. I can’t help myself honestly.

Her ministrations continue, her hand moving up nearing the head of my cock before moving back down almost brushing against my balls. I can’t believe this is happening. Also her hand is so warm, have I mentioned how warm her hand is? I don’t think I can get much harder. 

“You’re much bigger than I thought you’d be.” She says offhandedly before continuing her story.

I want to laugh hysterically. 

Her hand rises towards the head again and this time her thumb swipes over the top and I feel precum ease out. I can’t help the low groan that comes from my throat as I watch her thumb swipe over it again, making the head of my cock glisten in the light coming from the night stand. 

Her hand grips a little tighter as she speeds up her motions. 

I feel my eyes roll back in my head as my eyelids squeeze shut and I push farther into my pillow. Jesus fuck. This is happening.

A warmth enveloped the tip of my dick and I gasp as my eyes fly open again. She’s got her lips wrapped around the head, her tongue lapping lightly over the slit tasting my precum. Just kill me now, I won’t survive this. My balls tighten at the mere image in front of me. 

I take a calming breath. 

But really it’s useless because she’s sliding my dick farther into her mouth and the warmth is nothing compared to her hand. She pushes my dick as far as it will go before it reaches the back of her throat, holding it there for a second before pulling it back to the tip again. 

Am I even still alive? I feel like I’ve left this plain. 

She laps her tongue on the underside of my head, sucking it lightly before bobbing her head up and down taking more of me into her mouth. She continues for a few minutes, leaving me a quivering moaning mess beneath her before she pulls me from her mouth completely. Her hand moves along my shaft spreading her saliva as it goes. 

“As I was saying.” She looks back at me, more of this unbelievable story coming from her lips. 

I look at her with wide eyes, completely having forgotten what she was saying. 

“She then proceeds to say, I want to see your manager,” she pulls her shirt that has been tucked between us and I see she doesn’t have any underwear on. She then lifts herself up onto her knees and edges closer and rubs my cock against her clit. 

I lay here stunned. Unbelievably turned on. Speechless. 

She moves my cock through her lips, and I look up at her watching her bite her lip and close her eyes for a moment, I guess this is getting to her too. She then moves my cock to her entrance and begins to ease down on it. I feel my mouth fall open as I feel her tight opening begin to give way and spread apart for me. 

She. Is. So. Tight.

My first instinct is to thrust into her but I’m so shocked at everything that’s happening that I just lay there as she slowly sinks down my cock, the warmth washing over my dick inch after inch. This is heaven. 

I watch as her pussy slowly descends on me, taking me all the way in until I’m fully engulfed. I feel her legs shiver on either side of me and she lets out a shaky breath. “You’re so big.” She almost whines. My hands finally move to grip her thighs.

She looks at me then, our eyes meeting. Really actually looks at me, like she’s looking for any sign I don’t want this. I think she knows I want it because she’s moving now, a gentle grind of her pelvis against mine. 

I find myself breathing harder as I grip her hips, helping her with her movements. 

In a flash she grips her shirt and pulls it over her head and leans back away from me, her back arching, her neck exposed as she tilts her head back. My god it’s the most beautiful sight. I bite my lip and reach for one of her breasts, squeezing it lightly as it sways with her movements. 

I look down at my cock as she rides me, her lips gripping my cock as if I’m just slightly too big. I push my hips up into her, lifting her a little off the bed and she leans forward again, her hands resting on my chest. 

She lifts herself off my cock before dropping back down again, taking me all the way in. 

We both gasp.

She starts a rhythm of riding my cock, in and out, making both of us breath harder. 

When I see her legs get a little shaken I still her hips as she reaches the head of my cock and place my feet against the bed and start to thrust up into her. Her wetness has spread all over my lap so I slide in and out of her quickly. 

She bites her lip trying to contain her moans but I need to hear them so I thrust harder. Finally she can’t contain herself as she lets the moans slip from her throat. 

She leans back forcing me to stop thrusting and begins to grind herself on my dick not letting it slide out much. I can feel her clench around me with each pass, her ass squeezing, pushing into my balls. I’m mesmerized by her tits as they move the faster her hips grind. Im not going to make it much longer. 

“Clarke.” I gasp out. 

“Cum for me.” She begs, her hips moving as fast as she can make them.

I feel my balls tighten as my cock is rocked back and forth with a force I won’t be able to handle much longer. 

I feel her tighten so much around my wet warm cock and I can’t hold back anymore. She cries out as her body shakes around me and I feel myself let loose. My cum shoots into her and she digs her nails into my skin. Every time she slides forward and her ass grinds into my balls another spurt shoots into her and it feels never ending. I’m filling her with my load and she’s begging me for it. 

Eventually she comes down, her face buried in my shoulder and I can feel her pussy clench on occasion, each one taking a little longer than the last. 

I turn my face into her hair, breathing her in, our sweaty bodies trying to cool down. 

“I needed that.” She says quietly, pulling back to look at me almost bashfully.

A small smile tugs at my lips as I look at her. “Me too apparently.” 

She leans forward giving me a gentle kiss, that of course I return. “Thanks.” She says softly.

My smile grows and I feel a small swoop in my stomach as I reply, “Anytime.” 

She nods, a smile on her face too as she leans forward again giving me another quick kiss. “I’m gonna go clean up.” She pulls herself off my cock and I try not to cringe at the sudden cold air. 

Before she makes it to the door, shirt in hand I call out to her making her turn back to me, hand resting on the doorframe.

“I’ll make dinner.” I lean up on my elbows.

She grins before disappearing down the hallway.

I flop back against the sheets and let out a deep breath. She never did finish her story.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the repost it didn’t post to the main page.

Its been a long day. My way of unwinding is sprawling out with my diary and unloading anything on my mind. I can feel a smile begin to from when I think about my last entry. I don’t know where I got the bravery to finally do it but god was it amazing. She felt amazing. We haven’t talked about it, it’s like everything is normal. I don't know what came over me. I'd been thinking about it for awhile. Since we moved in together it's like we've been dating without the actual intimacy of dating. We cuddle, we hold hands, we see each other half dressed all the time. Plenty of people have friends with benefits, and I trust her more than anyone. She's beyond hot and I know she thinks I'm attractive too so why not? Things between us haven't gotten weird, we just haven't talked about it. That's not weird right? But who knows if it’ll happen again. Two week's is a long time, at least it feels that way. I haven't been able to stop thinking about it, about her.

I hear the front door open and close, Lexa’s home, a little later than usual. I can hear as she roams around the kitchen, opening and closing cupboards.

I hear a loud sigh almost annoyed and then I hear her foot steps as she comes down the hallway into my room, her shirt hitting the floor next to my night stand.

“Lex what,” I try to turn my head and look at her but she’s pushing me into the bed, her hands sliding up my sides pulling my shirt along with it.

I gasp and brush my diary to the side, it falling to the floor discarded. My legs slide open to let her fall between them.

Her lips kiss along my spine as inch after inch is exposed.

I push my hands against the bed lifting my upper body for her to pull my shirt over my head, her lips immediately attaching to the skin between my neck and shoulder.

“I need,” She whispers into my hair, but doesn’t finish her thought, her nose nuzzling against my scalp.

I hear her hands as they begin to undo her buckle and then the zipper on her jeans. It’s not long before my sweats are being pulled down.

“Is this okay?” She asks as she reaches my feet, the sweats almost free. I can hear the desperate plea in her voice, as if she’ll explode right then and there if I say no.

“God yes.” I say, pulling my feet free from my pants. I watch as she unhooks her bra and pulls her pants, along with her boxers down and off. Her cock is hard and ready for me.

She’s crawling back on top of me, her dick sliding between my legs. Her hands reach around my body caressing my breasts and I’m gasping into the pillow. How did we wait so long to start doing this.

She’s thrusting against my ass, her cock sliding between my thighs.

“Do you want a condom?” She half moans against my shoulder.

“No.” I answer immediately, I just want her in me. I push my ass back against her encouragingly.

One of her hands leaves my breast and slides down my body pulling my hips up just slightly, arching my ass up into her. Her hand grips her cock and starts running the head against my folds. I can feel how hard she is as she slides through my lips coating her dick. Suddenly there’s pressure at my opening as she begins to push in gently. I’m tight, it’s been two weeks since I fucked her and even longer since then. I know she thinks the same because she’s gasping against my skin as she pushes the head in.

I’m biting my hand that rests under my face as I feel her slowly start to stretch me. I know I’m soaked because she slides in without hindrance but I can feel inch after inch as she slides in.

I breathe out after what feels like forever as she bottoms out, her balls pressed against my clit. We both are gasping for air, like we finally got what we’ve been needing after so long.

I clench around her after a moment to encourage her to move, I need her to move. She doesn’t pull out but pushes deeper, grinding into me. My hand flies back, gripping her hip, trying hard to pull her impossibly deeper.

She begins to pull out just slightly before thrusting back in slowly.

“Fuck you’re tight,” she breathes in my ear. I swear I feel her quiver against me.

I begin to move my hips, pulling away before pushing her back in, a whimper leaving my lips. It seems to send the message and she begins to pull out farther before thrusting back in, each a little faster than the last.

Soon enough she’s moved so she’s on her knees, giving herself more leverage to fuck me. Her hands grip my hip bones as she pulls me back to meet every thrust, but not quite going as deep.

My hands are spread wide as if they’re searching for something to hold onto. I feel the air leave my lungs every time her hips meet mine, my tits swaying as my nipples brush against the sheets.

“Faster.” I gasp and suddenly she’s pushing all the way in, her balls slapping my clit which makes me cry out. The sound of her body coming in contact with mine echoes through the room along with my bed creaking with each swift movement. She’s filling me so good and I feel myself relax around her, letting her go deeper.

I look over my shoulder at her and see her eyes are closed as she bites her lip, clearly focused. I think of how she came into my room, not saying a word and initiated this, almost as if she was using me to get herself off and honestly watching her now, as she fucks me with her big cock, it turns me on more. She needed me to get off. She needed to feel how tight I was, how wet. She’s been craving it as much as I have.

I clench her as tight as I can and she immediately gasps, her mouth falling open as her eyes spring open and meet mine.

Her hands move and grip my ass as she thrusts, desperate to push back inside against my clenched walls. I’ve got her now.

I try to keep clenched tight while she fucks me, the head of her cock pushing against my front wall making me see stars. Before long I’m gasping into the sheets, my legs quivering to keep me upright, my arms already having given up.

“Fuck Clarke,” Lexa grumbles from behind.

I feel her hips begin to stutter, her thrusts becoming sloppy. It’s not long before I hear her breath quicken. “I’m gonna cum.” She gasps out in warning.

“Don’t pull out.” I groan as I push my face farther into the sheets. I’m arching my pussy out as far as I can, greedily taking as much of her dick as I can get.

A few more thrusts and I can feel her cum as it spurts out of her cock into me making me feel impossibly fuller. The jets scratching an itch her dick was missing. I can feel her body begin to bow over me, collapsing, but I’m not there yet. I grip the sheets and push back against her, thrusting her cock into me harder.

I can feel my orgasm approaching as I feel her dick rub through my walls. I’m desperate, I need it.

Her hands hit the bed on each side of me, her moans louder than before, I know she’s becoming sensitive but I can’t stop now.

I give one more hard push back against her, her hips slamming against my ass and her cock hits that’s sweet spot as her cum begins to taper off and I feel every inch of me seize up. I start to cry out in pleasure but my lungs suddenly stop working as I squeeze her cock so tightly as my walls begin to flutter. I swear my vision is going dark. I hear her gasp against my back as my walls try desperately to push her out but she gives a few final weak thrusts to prolong my orgasm, god it feels so good.

She collapses against me, gasping for air. “Fuck.” She breathes out.

I can’t manage to find my words as I try to catch my breath.

Her hands caress my sides, along my lower back, it makes me shiver.

“Let’s not wait so long until next time.” I manage, my voice raspier than usual.

“Yeah?” I feel her smile against my shoulder.

I hum in approval. Squeezing her softening cock that is still inside me, earning a gasp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are we liking so far?


	3. Chapter 3

I don’t know what’s happening with Clarke. We’ve made this mutual decision I guess to get each other off yet still not a word about it. I’ve slept with a few women, not a lot, but a few. But I’ve never been with anyone like Clarke. I walked around with blue balls for two weeks until I couldn’t take it anymore. She obviously wasn’t opposed when I went into her room practically on the verge of hysteria because I couldn’t stop thinking about fucking her. No amount of touching myself seemed to help. And I did it a lot. Sometimes multiple times a day. I just couldn’t get her riding my dick out of my mind, how tight, how warm. Good lord if I knew before what I know now.

 

She’s bringing take out home tonight, it’s our Saturday movie night when we don’t have plans to be out. She should be home any minute. I’m trying to finish up an episode of a show I know she hates because she won’t want to watch when she gets back.

 

“Hey.” Clarke comes through the door, the take out bag hanging from one hand.

 

I glance over the couch at her. “Hey. How was your mom?” I ask, eyes focused back on the TV.

 

“Oh you know, the usual. She says hi.” She drops the bag on my stomach before moving into the kitchen to get us drinks.

 

“Did you manage to swing by Ravens today and drop off my laptop?” She asks from the kitchen as I remove our food from the containers.

 

“Yeah she said she’d take a look tonight and see what she can do.”

 

“You know I hate this shit.” Clarke groans, lifting my legs and placing them over hers before grabbing her food.

 

“Yeah but you love me.” I tease, already reaching for the remote to change it knowing it’s a losing battle.

 

“Parts of you.” She retorts.

 

I feel my face go hot at the innuendo, our unspoken agreement of not talking about what has now happened twice between us flying out the window. I glance over at her and see she’s looking at her food with a look that says did I really just say that out loud?

 

I contemplate not saying anything but the smart ass in me can’t let it go. “Based on the way you moaned the other day I’d say that’s a true statement.” I say casually.

 

She stops mid chew and looks over at me holding my gaze for a moment before she back hands me on the shoulder. “Don’t be so cocky.” I can see her trying hard not to smile.

 

“Why? You like me when I’m cocky.” I grin. It feels like the tension is slowly easing.

 

“You’re an idiot.” She goes back to eating, her eyes rolling at my antics.

 

“A sexy idiot.”

 

“Well we can agree on that.”

 

——

 

The movie’s almost over, she’s sprawled out on top of me, head on my chest. I’m pretty sure she’s asleep. I comb my fingers through her hair lightly. I’ve lost all interest in the movie, completely focused on every inch of us that is pressed together. I wonder if things will change between us, they haven’t yet obviously other than the “let’s not talk about it” tension, but sex changes things right? She’s my best friend, the last thing I want is to lose her.

 

I nuzzle the top of her head before kissing it gently and she begins to stir.

 

“Movies over.” I say softly.

 

She stretches and then lets her muscles go slack continuing to lay on me. “I can’t believe how tired I was.” She mumbles.

 

“I know visiting your mom can be exhausting.”

 

“Yeah.” She replies, her mind elsewhere.

 

We lay there for a few more minutes, the credits ending and the menu for Netflix popping back up.

 

“Come to bed with me?” She asks.

 

I freeze, not sure what she’s asking me exactly.

 

She turns her head, propping her chin on my chest. “Sleep. I mean sleep.” She looks a little embarrassed having realized what she said.

 

“Yeah, let me just shower first.” I say, trying to smooth out her hair that got messed up from her nap.

 

Her lips tug into a small smile before she leans forward and pressed her lips to my cheek. They don’t linger too long before she pulls away, grabbing our empty food containers and heads into the kitchen.

 

Why does she have to be so cute?

 

——

 

Waking up next to someone is so much better than waking up alone. Especially when they fit so well with you. Clarke is the perfect fit. She’s not a rowdy sleeper, if anything she’s clingy in her sleep, never letting me move away too far. Our friends can attest to that, once she has ahold of you you’re kind of stuck until she wakes.

 

I’m slowly awakened by Clarke adjusting herself in front of me. I’ve got my arm around her waist and my face buried in her hair, she always smells amazing. She won’t stop fidgeting which is so not like her, she’s the kind of person who can lay down and sleep just about anywhere with minimal adjustments. When she moves again I wake more fully realizing what she’s doing and that I’m much more awake than I realized, at least my dick is.

 

I squeeze her waist pulling her closer to me. “What are you up to?” I mumble against her neck.

 

“Nothing.” She says innocently, her ass continuing to move against my groin.

 

“Fuck,” I whisper, moving my hips forward to create more friction.

 

She turns around to face me, a gleam in her eye. “Can I?” She asks, her hand reaching out to touch my stomach and moving it down towards my waist.

 

“You don’t have to.” I tell her, obviously not expecting anything from her.

 

She looks down at my lips before meeting my eyes again. “I want to.” Nothing but honesty in her voice.

 

“If you’re sure.” I say softly, searching her face for any sign she really doesn’t.

 

She slides her hand into my boxers caressing my skin and my eyes fall shut for a moment. She rubs her hand downward over the top before gripping my cock and pulling it free from my boxers. I open my eyes to watch her as her eyes roam over my dick, her bottom lip between her teeth. I’ve never felt a stronger urge to kiss her than right now.

 

She starts slow, moving her hand gently up and down my shaft. Then she’s scooting closer to me, her head moving to the same pillow, invading my space, but of course it’s welcome.

 

I scoot my face closer, lean my forehead into hers and take a calming breath.

 

A gentle smile graces her lips and she begins to apply a little more pressure, moving a little faster. She starts twisting her hand just slightly when she reaches the head of my cock and instantly my pleasure skyrockets.

 

A small grunt escapes my throat and she takes it as a good sign I guess because she continues her ministrations, speeding her hand up. I pull back just enough so I can see her gorgeous eyes and find her watching me. My hand moves to her cheek caressing lightly and I see her lips part just slightly like she’s anticipating my next move. Everything feels like it’s moving so quickly, her hand, my breath, my heart. I take the plunge.

 

I lean forward and press my lips to hers. This isn’t like before when she kissed me. I feel like I just took a step into unknown territory and when her hand stills and she doesn’t kiss me back I feel like I fucked up. But then she’s leaning into me, her lips parted just enough to wrap around my bottom lip and then her hand is moving again.

 

I gasp against her lips because she’s dragging me so close to the edge but she’s running her tongue across my lip and every inch of me feels like it’s on vibrate. I thrust into her hand as she jerks me off, vigorous twisting around my head while her other hand moves down to fondle my balls. I’m gonna cum.

 

I pull my lips from hers breathing so hard.

 

“Are you close?” She asks, her own breath quickened.

 

I nod my head yes. “So close.” I gasp.

 

She speeds her hand up just a fraction more, rubbing her thumb over my tip when she nears the top. I’m gone.

 

My forehead leans into hers again. I jerk my hips forward and I’m cuming into her hand.

 

“That’s it baby.” She practically purrs, her eyes glued to my cock as her hand slows and milks me for everything I’ve got.

 

God she’s beautiful.

 

I give a few more slow thrusts into her hand, my cum spread down my cock and all over her hand, before stopping altogether.

 

We lay there for a minute, her giving me a second to catch my breath.

 

“Good _morning_.” She says teasingly.

 

I muster a smile from my exhaustion. “You’re really good at that. Like really good.” I nod my head in approval.

 

“I try.” She bats her eyelashes at me.

 

“I made a mess, I’m sorry.” I look down seeing my cum on the sheets.

 

“It’s okay. It’s laundry day.” She kisses my nose before rolling out if bed.

 

“What about you?” I ask, sitting up and leaning back on my hand.

 

“You’re gonna be late.” She says disappearing into the hallway towards the bathroom.

 

I look at the clock. It’s 8:30. I’m supposed to meet Anya for our weekend run in 30 minutes.

 

“You know she’ll be pissed if you’re late.” Clarke returns, her hand clean, hair up in a messy bun.

 

“Fuck Anya.” I say annoyed.

 

“I’d rather not, wouldn’t want to make you jealous.” She rifles through her closet to find something to wear and throws me a look over her shoulder with a wink.

 

“Ok but seriously what about you?” I scoot to the side of the bed, my feet hitting the floor. As unawkwardly as I can I tuck my wet dick back into my boxers so I’m not just hanging out.

 

She walks over to me taking one of my hands and pulls me to my feet. “Rain check.” She smacks me on the butt and pushes me towards the door. “Go shower stud.”

 

I sigh, dragging my feet as I go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter might take a little longer, I’m working on it but it’s back to work tomorrow. Comments are encouraging though! Lemme know what you think and enjoy the rest of your weekend!


	4. Chapter 4

The door to the bathroom opens and Lexa and I almost bump heads, me heading in, her heading out. “Oh sorry.” She says, one hand holding her towel that’s wrapped around her. Her damp hair is cascading over her shoulder. She’s always her most beautiful when she’s at her simplest.

“My fault.” I say, unable to stop a smile.

She nods her head once, moving to get around me. “Oh hey.” She says, spinning in place to face me. “Anya said everyone’s getting together tomorrow after work. Wanna go?”

I swear I can see a glimmer of hope in her eyes.

“Sure. I could use a drink after the week I’ve had.” I lean back against the door frame.

“Everything okay?” She asks, taking a half step towards me, her brow furrowed with worry.

“Same shit, different day.” I dismiss with a wave of my hand.

She gives me a small nod and reaches out for my hand. “I’m always here you know?”

“I know.” I pull her toward me and kiss her cheek. “Go get dressed, you’re dripping all over the place.” I grin pushing her towards her bedroom.

She takes a step backward watching me, our hands still together before she drops it and is nodding again, spinning on her heel to continue on her way.

——

Friday night couldn’t come soon enough. It’s been a long day and I am in desperate need of that drink. Work was long and frustrating and I've wanted nothing more than to come home and spend some time with my best friend.

It's not too hot out lately but I want to look cute so I decide on a simple dress that leaves a little to the imagination. Lexa has said before she thought I looked great in it so it feels like a good choice.

I know shes about finished getting ready, the hair dryer having shut off a little while ago. She never takes too long after she's done with her hair.

I grab my wallet and phone and head down the hall to find her. Her bedroom light is off so I look and find her in the bathroom. Shes got on an outfit I know I've complimented her on before and her hair is pulled over one shoulder. She's hot and she knows it.

I lay my phone and wallet on the small table we have in the hallway and slide up behind her. My arms wrap around her waist and I nuzzle the back of her shoulder.

"You smell nice." I hum, I move my hands down her waist onto her thighs. 

"Don't start something you wont finish." She teases.

"Who says I won't?" I challenge.

"We're supposed to be there in 30 minutes." She applies the last of her smokey eyed make up.

"We've got time." I purr into her ear, my eyes on hers in the mirror. I see the wheels turning in her head about whether or not she thinks I'm serious. "Maybe I want to cash that rain check." I squeeze her hips.

When she turns in my arms I can see the fire in her eyes. I slide my hand between her legs and feel her already getting hard. "You did promise me a rain check."

She puts her hands on my waist and spins me around,lifting me up onto the counter. I’m already pulling my dress up and my panties down. Her hands are undoing her pants and I can already see how turned on she is. I immediately shove my hand into her pants sliding my hand along her cock, getting so hard and warm. I’d be lying if I said I haven’t had my mind on it all day.

“I can’t stop thinking about your cock.” I moan into her ear and she pulls me forward to the edge of the counter top, my pussy exposed as she spreads my legs apart to move between them.

I hear her grunt in approval, her hips gyrating into my hand looking for friction.

“How hard you get, how you stretch me.” I take her earlobe between my teeth and tug it lightly.

She moans and I swear she almost becomes weak in the knees.

I’m rubbing my fingers over the tip of her cock and I can already feel the precum bubbling out of her slit. I pull my hand away and slide it between my folds, spreading her wetness over my clit. I bite my lip and lean into her, watching her eyes as they follow my fingers, her mouth hanging open in awe.

I bring my fingers up to her lips and she doesn’t hesitate to take them between hers and lick my fingers clean before I pull them away.

She drops to her knees suddenly and begins kissing up the inside of my thigh. She looks up at me through her lashes before she presses a gentle kiss to my clit. She slides her tongue along my slit making me gasp. My pussy already feels like it’s on fire but it’s nothing compared to how hot her tongue feels.

The second I lose the ability to keep my eyes open and they slip closed she begins to suck on my clit, swirling her tongue around. I grip the counter top with one hand and her hair with the other urging her closer.

“Lexa!” I gasp, unable to control the grinding of my hips.

She slides her tongue down to my entrance, probing lightly, swirling her tongue around it before going as deep as she can. I can’t help it when I grip her hair probably too tightly but she’s humming against my pussy and I feel like I might explode. She licks back up circling my clit again but she doesn’t leave my entrance for too long because she’s sliding a finger into me and I grind down on it. A second finger is added after a few thrusts and she’s eagerly rubbing against my front wall and I can feel my orgasm begin to build.

I try hard to keep my other hand on the counter top to keep me from falling and if it wasn’t for her holding my hips in place with her free hand I would have already fallen.

She speeds her fingers up fucking me deep and sucks my clit a little harder and then she’s pushing me over the edge. I tense everywhere, my head tilted back as my walls ripple around her fingers that just won’t let up and it feels like forever before it’s just a little too much and I’m gasping for air.

She licks me clean until I can’t take anymore and I’m pushing her away. She places a few wet kisses along my thighs before standing again.

I wrap my arms around her neck and pull her forward, my lips immediately capturing hers. I taste myself on her lips and I feel myself clench around nothing.

She slides her tongue into my mouth, dragging it along mine.

When I’ve gathered myself mentally I wrap my legs around her, pressing my heels into her ass to bring her closer. She moans when her cock brushes against my warm pussy.

I reach down and gather some wetness from myself before gripping her cock again, moving my hand up and down to coat it.

I feel my heart begin to pound again, my pussy continuing to clench. “I want you to fuck me.” I demand against her lips. “I want to feel you in me. I want you to fill me with your cum.” My tone changing from demanding to almost begging. “Can you do that for me?”

She’s breathing so hard already, her eyes half lidded as she stares down at my lips. She nods before looking down at my hand fisting her cock. She thrusts lightly into my hand before I place it against my pussy.

We both moan at the contact.

She gently trusts against my folds, collecting my now abundant wetness. She grips her cock taking it from my hand and rubs the tip against my clit. She squeezes the head for a second, precum leaking out again and she rubs it over my clit before pushing it down to my opening.

She looks up at me keeping eye contact as she pushes the head forward. She’s painfully slow but as she moves forward I feel myself starting to stretch. My pussy feels sensitive already having had an orgasm so it feels even more heightened as she slowly fills me. My walls feel so tight and unrelenting so she pauses for a moment and slides out a little.

My mouth fallS open as I stare back at her, her dick sliding in a little more. The stretch almost burns but I can’t find it in me to ask her to stop. I need to feel all of her.

She keeps pulling back just slightly before pushing back in, each time going a little deeper. After a minute she’s finally seated deep in me. She gives me a minute to adjust, her lips having moved to my neck, sucking and biting as they go.

I try to pull her closer with my legs as best I can. “Fuck me.” I whimper into her hair.

She pulls her cock from my pussy slowly before thrusting quickly back in and I gasp at the sudden movement, the burning from the stretch still present but I find myself addicted to it.

  
She moves her hands down my legs, linking my ankles behind her before sliding them back up to my hips pulling me a little farther off the counter and begins a brutal pace.

I know my inner thighs are going to feel bruised tomorrow but right now I don’t care. Her cock plows into me and I cry out every time she bottoms out, the head of her cock hitting my back wall every time.

I already feel myself getting close to the edge, never really having gone too far from it from the last orgasm but she pulls me off the counter and she drops my feet to the ground, spinning me around to face the mirror. She places her hand between my shoulder blades and pushes forward while gripping my hip with her other and pulls my ass back towards her. She brushes my dress up over my ass exposing me and then I feel her cock as it begins to probe my entrance again. She slides in with no waiting. I instantly feel full, my hands gripping the counter as I look at her in the mirror.

She slides her hands forward from my shoulder blades and places them on top of my shoulders and begins pulling me back into her cock. Her balls slap my clit hard enough with each thrust that I feel my pleasure spike. Her hands move down my arms before she grips my hands and moves them behind my back pulling them toward her.

I feel my pussy begin to quiver as her cock thrusts into me. She feels so big right now I can feel myself grip her, my pussy lips stretching as she pulls out.

“You’re so fucking tight.” She moans, thrusting her cock hard and fast “So fucking wet.” She mumbles to herself.

I see her eyes go down as she watches herself fuck me.

“I’m gonna cum.” I cry out, my legs beginning to shake. She lets go of my arms and pulls my hips harder into hers. I feel myself tighten more and then I peak, quivering all over her cock, my walls pulsating.

She slows down for a moment letting me relax for a second before she’s reaching for my shoulders pulling be upright, her hand sliding into my hair that she grips lightly and begins to move her hips again. She tilts my head back, my neck exposed. She doesn’t give me any time to adjust and continues back into her unrelenting pace. I gasp, my pussy arched back as she drills me.

“I’m going to fill you with my cum.” She grunts in my ear.

I cry out feeling myself beginning to tighten yet again.

“Cum on my cock.” She demands, her hips slowing but her dick slamming hard into me with persistent thrusts.

I feel myself getting closer.

“Cum. On. My. Cock. Clarke.” She punctuates each word with a hard thrust, my name having the hardest.

My orgasm hits me like a ton of bricks and I cry out, louder than I ever have. My hands slam against the counter and I feel my legs give out. She’s immediately has an arm around my waist and holds me up, her hips giving a few last hard thrusts before I feel her cum. she lets go of my hair and bites my shoulder and I feel her legs shake as she gives a final thrust into me, her legs straining as she fills me.

We stay like that for a moment, both of us shaking. My walls ripple around her cock, milking her for every last drop she has, her balls emptying into me.

I slump against the counter when I lose all strength, she slumps against me, her hands braced against the counter.

“I can’t feel my legs.” I mumble, my face resting on my arms.

She slowly pulls herself from me and I immediately feel myself clench, I’m super sensitive. I don’t realize I’m holding my breath until she’s out, her cum dripping out as soon as she free. I feel the warmth of it as it runs down the inside of my thighs.

“Oh my god Lexa.” I groan, continuing to clench.

Her hands begin to rub up and down my back soothingly. “Are you okay? I didn’t hurt you did I?” She asks concerned. She gives me whiplash with how sudden her demeanor changes, from taking what she wanted to being so concerned for me.

I lift my head and look at her in the mirror.  
“I’m okay. I just don’t think I’ll ever walk again.”

She laughs, her hands on my hips urging me to sit down on the toilet. She bends down pulling the cupboard under the sink open to grab a washcloth. Turning on the faucet she runs the warm water soaking the towel.

I can’t take my eyes off her as I sit. She crouches down between my legs running the warm cloth between my legs, gentle as she wipes my thighs.

I reach out and brush my fingers through her hair. She glances up at me with a soft smile, not stopping until I'm cleaned up.

I grip the back of her neck pulling her to me, our lips meeting in the middle. "Thank you." I say softly. I take the cloth from her hand and reach for her cock, doing the same.

"That was," I pause trying to find the right word. "New." I look at her with a half grin before going back to attending her softening cock.

"If you ask you, shall receive." She jokes.

"Pulling my hair though." I say, my eyes widening the slightest.

"Sorry." She winces.

"No." I say. "That was _so_ hot." I moan, tossing the towel into the sink.

She stands and laughs but leans down to cup my cheeks and kiss me softly. "Good to know."


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I’m gonna throw in some plot here. Also cheers we made it to the weekend!

We walk up to the bar pushing to just over 20 minutes late. Clarke insisting that she change because she felt sweaty after our time in the bathroom together. I can't help but laugh at the way she's walking.

"It's not funny." She pouts. "I feel like I over stretched or something."

"I'll give you a massage later." I offer.

"Sure, a massage." She throws up finger quotes.

I laugh and pull the door open for her to enter first.

“You’re late.” Anya deadpans when we reach the table, she's clearly not amused.

“Sorry, my fault.” I motion for Clarke to sit first.

“She’s lying. It was my fault.” Clarke replies, sliding into the booth next to Raven.

“She’s right, it was her fault.” I look to Anya with a grin.

Clarke scoffs. “I take it back, it _was_ her fault.” She smacks me on the arm.

“I don’t care who’s fault it was. You know the rules, second round is on you guys.

I sigh. “Second round's on us.” I can’t argue with that.

——

It’s been a not so eventful night, Octavia and Lincoln having stopped by for a short while before taking off. Only Anya, Raven, Clarke and I remain. We’re all a few drinks in, each of us having an opportunity to wind down and complain about work. It’s not too often we all get the opportunity to get together so when we do we like to knock a few back.

Clarke groans beside me, her face buried in her hands. “I’m drunk.”

“How? You’ve only had two beers and a shot.” Raven bumps her shoulder into Clarke’s before reaching for one of the many food items we’ve ordered. “Eat food!” She demands, shoving a chip towards Clarke’s face.

Clarke bats it away, leaning into my shoulder.

“You’re no fun.” Raven grumbles tossing the chip back into the bowl before  finishing off the rest of her beer. “I need another. Who’s turn is it?” She asks looking around the table.

“Mine. I need another anyway.” Anya stands, taking notice of the state of everyone else’s drinks. “I need more hands.”

I pat Clarke’s thigh and she leans back into her own space. “I’ll help.” I follow Anya over to the bar.

It takes a few minutes but Anya finally flags down the bartender and adds onto our tabs. We lean back against the bar and wait, our elbows resting on the bar top.

I smile as I watch Clarke across the way as she throws her head back in laughter at something Raven says, the brunettes hands flying into the air which could only mean one thing with that girl, an explosion.

“What’s up with you?” Anya asks.

I turn my face towards her, my eyebrows raised in question.

“You and Clarke.” She states.

“What do you mean?” I ask. I can feel my neck as it slowly heats up, my heart pounding at the thought of getting caught at what we’ve been doing.

“You guys are being weird today.” She says suspiciously. “Weirder than usual. You’re being extra coupley. You’re laughing at all her jokes, and lets be honest here, she’s not that funny.”

“Wow rude much? And we’re not being weird.” I stand a little straighter, I feel like I’m about to blow our cover over a simple question.

“What are you hiding?” She turns to face me.

“Nothing. I’m not hiding anything.” I deny. I can feel my cheeks beginning to redden.

“You’re lying.” She reaches over and pinches my arm.

“Ow! Stop that.” I slap her hand away.

“You are the _worst_ liar.” She rolls her eyes, turning to face the bar, her elbows resting on it again.

“I am _not_.”

“So you admit you’re lying then.” She looks over at me.

I’m not sober enough for this.

“No!” I say probably a little too high pitched. I can do this.

“Jesus, it’s not like you guys slept together or anything. I was just asking.” She looks down the bar to find the bartender.

I thank god she wasn’t looking at me in that moment because my eyes widen of their own free will and I look like a deer in headlights. Leave it to Anya to nail it on the head. “I-I,” I’m stuttering. “No, no of course not.”

She turns and looks at me with wide eyes, a slow intake of air going into her open mouth. “You _did_.” She says shocked.

“What? I didn’t, _we_ didn’t.” I try to recover. I’m going down in flames.

“You had sex with Clarke Griffin.” She says loud enough for other patrons to hear.

I place my hand over her mouth. “Jesus, would you keep it down.” My heart pounds, Clarke’s going to kill me.

“Oh my god I can’t wait to tell Raven.” She turns to look for our table, a grin plastered all over her face.

“You will do no such thing.” I grab her arm, pulling her attention back to me. “If you breathe a word of this to anyone I _will_ kill you.”

“Yeah yeah.” She pulls her arm from my grasp, clearly disappointed.

“You better wear a rubber.” She turns back to the bar. “I’m too young to be a god mother.”

“She’s on birth control.” Why are these words so freely pouring from my mouth? Oh right alcohol is making me stupid.

“Did you ask her that?”

“No, I took her to her appointment last year to get it. We live in the same apartment, you think I wouldn’t know that?”

“Better safe than sorry. So what, are you guys dating now?” She looks at me, clearly bored at the idea of dating.

“Uh.” I pause, looking over at our table. “We haven’t really talked about it.”

“Seriously?” She looks shocked. “You miss _lets talk about our feelings_ hasn’t brought it up?”

I smack the back of her arm with the back of my hand. “No.”

We stand in silence for a moment or two.

Someone places their and on my shoulder and I look in the other direction to see a woman around my age standing there.

“Excuse me, sorry to bother you. You’re Lexa right?”

I shoot a quick glance at Anya before looking back at the woman. “I am.”

“Hi, you don’t know me but I know your father. I worked for him at the university a few years ago, I remembered your face from a photo he had on his desk, he used to talk about you all the time. My names Amy.”

“Hi.” I say, slightly confused as to where this is going.

“Anyway I’m sorry to bother you, I know this is weird, but I was just wondering if maybe I could get his work number from you. I lost all of my contacts a while back and for the life of me I can’t seem to find it online. The university’s website is going through maintenance so it’s ten kinds of messed up.” She looks at me hopeful.

“Uh yeah sure.” I pull my phone from my pocket, turning towards her.

“Thank you so much, you’re a life saver. I just moved back to the city so I’m looking for work. I’m really hoping he can help me out.” She pulls her phone from her purse and readies a contact.

“It’s no problem.” I give her the number. “I’ll let him know to expect a call.”

“Thank you again.” She smiles and reaches out to touch my forearm before turning on her heel to head back to her friends.

I turn back to Anya just as the bartender places the drinks on the bar for us.

“You sure I can’t tell Raven?” She asks one more time.

“No.” I cock my head with a glare at her.

“Fine. Fun sucker.” She grabs two glasses before heading back to our table.

I take a quick pull from my beer before taking a deep breath and follow after her.

Raven is tossing bar peanuts into the air trying to catch them in her mouth when we return and is failing miserably. There is however no sign of Clarke.

“Where’s blondie?” Anya asks, placing the glasses on the table.

“Bathroom.” Raven replies, finally catching a peanut. Her hands thrust into the air in celebration with a big grin on her face as she chews. Classic Raven.

Anya rolls her eyes. Typical Anya.

Clarke returns a few minutes later, her light demeanor gone.

I stand to let her slide back into the booth. “Everything okay?” I ask softly as she passes.

She hums in lieu of an answer.

Raven continues on into another work story. But somethings off. Clarke seems much more quiet than she was, her eyes on her glass as she moves the pad of her thumb over the condensation. She would tell me if something was wrong, she always does. I try not to let it bother me. There's no way she heard Anya and I talking at the bar. I’m just being paranoid.

——

We call it a night, Anya and Raven getting into a Lyft while Clarke and I do the same. She hasn’t said much since she came back from the bathroom, only that she was tired.

“Are you feeling okay?” I ask softly, aware of the driver and not wanting him included in our conversation.

“Yeah.” She replies shortly, her head leaning against the window as she watches the passing scenery.

I decide to leave it for now, not wanting to push, especially since we’re in someone else’s car.

It’s not long before we pull up to our apartment, Clarke gets out and I pay the driver. By the time I get out she’s already halfway to the apartment. I just know something's wrong. I catch up with her as she’s unlocking the door.

“Are you feeling sick?” I ask concerned.

“No.” She sounds annoyed.

“Hey, what’s wrong.” I reach for her hand.

“Nothing.” She pulls her hand away moving into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water.

I stand there with my brow furrowed in confusion. “Did I say something?”

“No.” She replies shortly again.

“I’m confused. You seem like you’re upset with me.”

“I’m fine.” Clearly she’s not.

“Clarke come on.” I argue.

She takes a long drink from her water before placing it on the counter, her eyes not leaving the bottle.

“Did you get her number?” She asks. “That’s a stupid question, of course you got her number.”

“What? Who?” I shake my head in confusion trying to figure out what she’s talking about.

“The girl Lexa. The girl at the bar.” She looks up at me like she’s fed up.

“Amy?” I ask, the only girl I spoke to aside from my friends.

“Oh her names Amy. How pretty.” She says sarcastically and grabs her bottle off the counter moving past me towards her bedroom.

“Clarke she was no one.” I follow.

“Yeah.” She keeps walking, almost to her door.

“Where are you going? We’re talking.” I stop her in her tracks.

The silence hangs in the air for a beat too many.

“Clarke.” I say softly, taking a step towards her. “Can we talk? Please?”

“No.” She continues into her room closing the door behind her.

I'm left standing in the hallway wondering what in the ever loving fuck just happened.

——

I make quick work of getting up early and getting out into the living room. I know her better than she thinks sometimes. She always tries to escape from the apartment when we've had an argument, easier to avoid me than talk and deal with the situation. Only problem is I'm left on the couch alone for hours. I make quick work of using the bathroom before returning to my spot on the couch. It's not until almost 2pm that she comes out of her room, dressed in an old gym shirt from high school and some sweatpants.

She almost looks startled as she spots me on the couch, my book now laying face down in my lap.

"Hey." She says, not quite mad but also not normal.

"Hi." I reply, watching her as she walks passed the living room into the kitchen. "How are you feeling?" I turn sideways on the couch to see her, my arm resting on the top of it.

"No hangover, so that's a plus."

I can't gauge her mood right now so I decide to jump right in. I rise from the couch and move towards the kitchen, leaning down on my forearms on the breakfast bar. "Can we talk?"

She looks over at me from the fridge, pulling sandwich contents from inside. "Talk about what?"

I hesitate for a moment, not sure how I want my next words to come out. "I don't know, about us I guess."

She doesn't look my way but continues to talk. "What about us?"

I take a small breath before continuing, my heart pounding in my chest. "Are we together? As in, are we dating?"

She looks up at me for a quick moment before turning her back, laying a plate out to make herself lunch. "No."

I'd be lying if I said that didn't feel like a stab to the chest. My jaw clenches as I try to figure out what to say next. "What are we doing?"

"I don't want to talk about this." She replies quickly, her hands laying flat against the counter, her shoulders tense.

"Why?" Now I'm getting annoyed.

"Because." She turns her head to the side so I can see her side profile but refuses to make eye contact. "Once we acknowledge it, it gets weird."

Is that a joke? "What like last night wasn't weird?" I challenge.

"We're just having fun. Aren't you having fun?" She turns to face me now, her arms crossed defensively.

"I'm not having very much fun right now no." I can't believe what's coming out of her mouth. "What was last night, you were acting super jealous." I point out.

"I wasn't jealous, we don't owe each other anything Lexa. You're free to do what you want okay?"

"I wasn't _doing_ anything." I stand up straight, throwing my hands up in the air. "She used to work for my dad, she needed his work number because she lost it. That's it."

She drops her chin down to her chest and stares at the floor.

"Do you have feelings for me Clarke?" I flat out ask, tired of arguing in circles.

She doesn't respond, chewing on her lip in thought.

"Clarke." I say when she doesn't reply.

"Maybe this was a mistake." She says softly.

I feel the air leave my lungs as I stare at her. My chest burns and all I want to do is yell and tell her to take it back. "Yeah? Well maybe you should have thought of that before you jumped on my cock." I can't help but want to hurt her back even though the words taste like acid in my mouth.

She looks up at me now, angry. "Hey don't forget you came to me too okay?" She takes a step toward me, her finger pointed into her own chest.

"You started this!" I exclaim.

"Oh right, so we're just going to pretend I haven't caught you sporting a boner after you've seen me half dressed."

"Why are you being like this? I don't understand." I shake my head in disbelief.

She runs her hands through her hair, silently fuming. "I can't deal with this right now." She storms past me back to her bedroom.

I stare at her now vacated spot in the kitchen, her lunch left discarded. I don't stop her.

——

It's been a week. We've seen each other in passing but neither one of us is willing to give, not even a little. When we've fought in the past it's never taken this long to make up. Usually after a few days one of us will cave and make the other something to eat, or pick them up a coffee, a way of saying sorry without actually saying it. But the days have gone by and still no little effort, no little acknowledgement that one of us was wrong. I thought we were building towards something, that she was starting to have feelings for me, especially after her bout of jealousy that night. Even if she denies it. 

I'm tired, I haven't been sleeping. I've been grumpy ever since our argument. And I haven't been able to get it up. Which is really starting to piss me off. One argument and suddenly my dick decides it's done participating. I know if I have a quick jerk I could release some of my tension but my dick is literally refusing to get hard.

I move from my bed and close my door, feeling it click shut before stepping back to sit on the edge. I stare at the door for a moment before looking down at my crotch. I move my hands and unbutton my pants and pull my flaccid dick from my boxers, holding it in my hand for a moment. I grip it gently and begin to pump it slowly. My mind races trying to think of any beautiful women but my mind comes up blank. This is ridiculous. I start to jerk it a little faster, pumping around the head hoping to get some blood flowing to my cock. But nothing happens.

My mind betrays me and thinks of Clarke for a moment, probably curled up on her bed or something, maybe reading a book. Of course, _of course_ it's then my dick decides it wants to start getting hard. My hand stops and I look down at it. "Really?" I say annoyed. "You're gonna do me like that?" I toss my head back, staring at the ceiling. "Of course." I try to think of anything else, pumping my hand again. I move my other hand and cup my balls, massaging them lightly. I try really hard not to think of Clarke but her smile flashes in my mind here and there just enough to get me harder. I look down at it again, twisting my hand around the head of my cock when suddenly the door opens and I see Clarke looking at me with wide eyes, shocked at what's happening in front of her. I grab the pillow next to me and throw it over my hard on trying to hide it. "Jesus Clarke!"

When I look up the door is already closed, her muffled apology coming through the door.

That did _not_ just happen. I feel my cheeks flame with embarrassment. The thought of finishing being the last thing on my mind. Not that it mattered because my dick is back to soft. I chuck my pillow at the door in frustration before tucking my dick back into my pants. I'm at the door in half a second and I'm wrenching it open. I move into the hallway looking for her. "Haven't you ever heard of knocking?" I feel ridiculously small right now.

Shes standing in the living room, her hands up in surrender. "I'm _so_ sorry. I came to talk to you and I didn't think-"

"The door was closed." I interrupt her motioning towards my door.

"I know, I'm sorry." She says, clearly embarrassed as well. Not as much as me of course. “I swear I didn’t know you were-“ She stops, deciding against finishing her sentence.

“I’m going out.” I grumble, grabbing my phone and wallet off the counter. I snag my keys in the bowl we keep next to the door. I can’t help it if the door slams behind me. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I don’t get the next chapter out by Christmas due to holiday stuff I hope everyone has a nice holiday, hopefully you’re not stuck in retail hell. If you are, may the force be with you.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry everyone work has been a nightmare, wanted to post something even if it’s a little short, will try to post again soon.

I feel terrible. Of course I finally come to my senses and realize I’m being ridiculous. I’m just being my usual stubborn self. If what she said was true about the girl in the bar then I’m just being jealous. I _hate_ feeling jealous. And I know I can talk to Anya, ask her if it’s true but I know Lexa better than that, I know she wouldn’t lie to me especially when I was clearly upset.

 

I finally got up the courage to go talk to her, to apologize for once in my life rather than run from it and of course I have the worlds best timing. She looked so embarrassed and I was too but I know it doesn’t compare to how she felt in that moment.

 

It’s been another two weeks of radio silence. Only this time she’s actively avoiding me. The second she sees me she gets up to leave the room or turns in the direction she came from. I tried again to talk to her but it’s hard to talk to someone when all you see is their fleeting back. I left her breakfast on the table before I left for work one morning and when I got home that afternoon it was still there. Untouched.

 

I miss her.

 

I don’t know what else to do. I’m kind of at the point of just accepting it and continuing on until she decides to talk to me. I told her I was sorry, she has to know I’m telling the truth.

 

——

 

I hate going to the market after work on a week day. There’s always some kind of petitioner asking for signatures. I don’t mind helping a good cause but after a long day when I’m tired and hungry and just need to get in, get what I need, and get out the last thing I want to do is be told I’m terrible for not signing my name on a piece of paper to save the trees, I wonder if the irony is lost on them. They’ve also been getting bolder lately, leaving the storefront and walking around the parking lots, following people to their cars. Usually I’d ask Lexa to go since she knows how to level these guys

with that stare that says back off if you know what’s good for you, but being as she’s not talking to me I’m on my own. Should have done this on the weekend when I had the chance.

 

I spot them the second I park my car but I beeline for the door, successfully avoiding one that was headed straight for me but got cut off by a large crowd exiting just before I entered. I can relax the second I’m through the door, grabbing a hand basket on my way in.

 

I miss going shopping with her, she’d always push the cart, letting me roam freely to grab what we needed. Sometimes even suggesting I hop onto the cart while she pushed. Of course I’d happily agree until we’d walk past some old folk that gave us a dirty glare or a mumble under their breath about acting our age. She helps me stay young.

 

I drag my feet down a few isles grabbing things I need before heading to the check out. I’m the third person in line when I look up towards the cashier and see Lexa being rung up. My heart drops, an overwhelming sadness washing over me. She doesn’t see me but I can’t tear my eyes away from her, her fingers rifling through her wallet to pull out the correct change. I want to call out to her, say hi, say something but my mouth remains closed. The cashier finished up, handing over her change and receipt, the bag boy handing off her single bag and she’s on her way to the exit. I do my best to not let my eyes follow her.

 

Within a few minutes I’m headed out the door myself. The wind has picked up a little since I entered the store, making my loose hair that escaped from my bun whip about. I can’t help but feel like I want to cry. My best friend was right there and I’ve hardly gotten to see her the last two weeks, this probably being the most I’ve gotten to really see her. It eats away at me, but I clench my jaw trying not to let the tears form.

 

“Hi there!” A deep voice jerks my head up in attention.

 

“Hi.” I say hesitantly, eyeing the clipboard in his hand. I was so distracted by Lexa I forgot about the sharks in the parking lot, waiting to pick off their next victim. He’s directly in the direction I’m headed making it a little hard to get past him unless I made a conscious effort to literally move around him.

 

“I was hoping you had a minute to talk.”

 

“Actually I-“

 

“You see we’re out here trying to talk to people in town about supporting a local candidate for mayor in our upcoming election.”

 

Oh joy.

 

“You know I really-“ I try again.

 

“It will only take a few minutes of your time, I can give you a quick rundown and then I just need your signature.” He turns his clipboard towards me, trying on his best charming smile.

 

“I really don’t have time I’m sorry.” I try to make a move around him but he steps into my path.

 

“All I need is ten seconds for you to sign.”

 

“I’m sorry I don’t have time.” I move to get around the opposite way but he moves into my path again, my hand tightens around my grocery bag handle.

 

“You don’t have ten seconds?” He asks incredulously.

 

“Hey, asshole! She said she’s not interested.” Lexa steps up, her hand gripping my forearm and pulling me back behind her so she can stand between me and the clipboard guy. “Back off.”

 

He towers over her a good 7 or 8 inches. He gives her a quick size up before rolling his eyes. “Whatever.” He grumbles, clearly displeased before heading back towards the store front.

 

She follows him with her gaze as he goes, not letting her guard down for a second.

 

I let out a shaky breath, hating how he made me feel uncomfortable. “Thanks.” I say, tucking some lose hair behind my ear that won’t stay long with the wind.

 

She turns to look at me then, her brow still furrowed with anger. “Yeah.” She turns on her heel heading towards her car.

 

“Lexa.” I call out to her. My heart pounds with adrenaline, afraid of any possibility to how that moment could have ended even though I know I’m probably being ridiculous.

 

She stops in her tracks but doesn’t turn to look at me.

 

I feel my throat begin to close up with emotion. She knows how much I hate those guys, she knows I get super uncomfortable when they push the way that they do. She’s angry with me, but she still came to help.

 

“Lexa I-“

 

“Go home Clarke.” She interrupts me.

 

I swallow hard, my throat tight. “Lexa please.” My voice shakes, the tears beginning to form. I take a step toward her.

 

I watch as she drops her chin down to her chest, her shoulders rising with the breath she takes in.

 

“Please, you have to know I-“ I clench my jaw when she turns her face to look at me over her shoulder. She doesn’t look angry anymore, just sad, the tension in her own jaw gone as she works it side to side.

 

“Go home.” She says softer.

 

I give her a pathetic smile as I sniffle back my emotions, my hand tucking my lose hair behind my ear again. I nod and continue to my car, my emotions getting the best of me as my tears begin to fall the second I close the door behind me.

 

She’s not home by the time I make it there. I had a good cry in the car on the way. I hate this.

 

I put my groceries away, not wanting anything to spoil. I make myself something small to eat, not having much of an appetite anymore. Twenty minutes goes by before I hear the key in the lock. She removes her jacket and drops her keys into the bowl by the door, taking slow cautious steps towards the kitchen.

 

“I stopped at Anya’s.” She lays her coat over the back of the couch. “She twisted her ankle at work today, needed some groceries so I told her I’d stop by with some after work.” She says like she thinks she owes me an explanation for why she’s late.

 

“Oh.” I reply softly, my eyes only looking up for a second, afraid if I look for too long she’ll disappear to her bedroom again. “Is she okay?” I ask hesitantly.

 

“Yeah, you know her, she’s stubborn. She’ll be fine.” She replies, awkwardly standing next to our dining table, arms crossed.

 

She purses her lips as she keeps her eyes down turned. The silence continues on painfully before I can’t take it anymore.

 

“Thank you, again for-“

 

She drags in a breath through her nose before looking up at me. “I know how much you hate those guys.”

 

I nod, feeling my eyes water again. “Yeah.” I reply, but it only comes out as a whisper.

 

I feel her eyes on me for a moment but I’m scared to look up at her.

 

“Do you uh,” she scratches the back of her neck. “Do you maybe want to order in something?” She looks down at the half a sandwich I’ve hardly touched. “I’m starving, I didn’t eat lunch today. Unless you’re not hungry.”

 

I can’t believe what I’m hearing. “Yeah.” I swallow. “Yes I, I’d love that.”

 

“Chinese okay?” She moves into the kitchen to grab the number off the fridge.

 

“Sure.” I say softly.

 

She looks over at me with a small smile before pulling her phone out to dial.

 

“I’m going to shower really quick.” I toss my sandwich into the garbage and she nods her head in acknowledgement before I head to my room to get my pajamas.

 

I hear her order my favorites over the phone as I disrobe in the bathroom, my eyes closing for a moment as I feel like a weight is slowly lifting off my shoulders. Maybe we’re going to be okay.

 

——

 

The food had arrived by the time I got out of the shower, fastest service in town. Lexa had turned the TV on, putting something she knew I enjoyed on. I gave her space when I joined her on the couch, a foot or two between us. When the food was finished she took the cartons to kitchen to discard and wash our glasses. I didn’t know what to do with myself so I just stayed on the couch, my legs pulled up onto the cushions, my knees tucked under my chin.

 

She walked around in front of me before sitting down again, my eyes following her until they couldn’t see anymore. I didn’t want her to feel like I was following her with my eyes so I kept my face turned forward the tv. A few minutes pass in silence as we both watch the TV, though I couldn’t tell you what was happening.

 

She wraps her arm around me and pulls me into her side. I close my eyes as I let my head fall onto her shoulder, taking a steadying breath. Her hand rubs up and down my arm.

 

“I miss you.” She says softly, only loud enough for me to hear.

 

I slowly drop my knees down, leaning them over her lap. My hand grips her shirt over her stomach.

 

“I miss you too.” I whisper.

 

I feel her lips on my forehead as she relaxes into the couch. We stay like that for awhile, long past both of our bedtimes, her hand lightly tracing designs over my arm. The TV plays on into the night, neither one of us moving to go to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we’re making some progress. Hope your 2019 is going better than mine!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I’m an idiot sandwich. I completely forgot I had posted the last chapter already but I still had it in my notes, I usually delete it when I finish. It occurred to me right after I posted it to check and it was the same. But you know *face palm* so my apologies to anyone who read what I posted yesterday. This chapter is new I promise.

We’re tip toeing around each other. I hate seeing her so sad and I know the last few weeks have taken a toll on her, on both of us. Hearing her voice break the way it did, I couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t stay away from her any longer. We’re talking though. Not quite like before but more than we have been. 

It was a long weird week but my head is buzzing and I can’t sleep. I always did sleep best when I was beside her. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if I crawled in bed with her. I can keep my distance.

Her door is ajar when I get close. I push it open just enough to slip inside.

“Clarke?” I whisper but get no response.

I walk over to the other side of the bed and carefully slip in. 

It doesn’t take long before I feel sleep dragging me under.   
——  
Sharp pain radiates from my groin and my hands instantly reach for it. My whole body curls in on itself and I curl into the fetal position.

“Fuck.” I gasp.

“Oh my god Lexa I’m so sorry!” Clarke reaches for me, her arm resting on my bicep.

I turn on my side, and bury my face in the pillow.

“I didn’t know you were here, I’m sorry.” She pleads.

“My fault.” I groan into the pillow.

I can feel her watching me so I try to unravel myself to look less hurt. “I’m okay.” I try not to wince as I pull myself into a sitting position.

“I’m-“ she starts, the guilt is rolling off her in waves.

“It’s okay. Really. It’s my fault. I should have asked before just coming in here.”

She looks at me sadly. “Can I do anything? Can I get you anything?” 

“You can kiss it better?” The words slip from my mouth before I can even process the thought. We used to joke like this, before...

Her head snaps up in surprise, her eyes wide.

What I said hits me like a ton of bricks and my face goes hot. “Oh my god.” I mumble, internally chastising myself. “I’m-that was a joke. I’m sorry, that was-“ Can the earth just swallow me whole please?

She lets out a nervous laugh, probably to break the tension. “Maybe later.” What? Maybe later? What does that mean?

I try to play it off with a laugh too but it feels all too forced. 

As if things couldn’t get more awkward between us.

“I’m gonna-“ she points her thumb over her shoulder towards the door.

“This is your room. I’ll go.” I stand, my body protesting at the movement.

“Bathroom.”

“Oh.” I stand there awkwardly watching her go.

The moment she’s gone I rub my face with my hands. Kiss it better? Are you kidding yourself right now?  
——  
So I made it awkward. But then suddenly things weren’t awkward anymore. I think we both blushed the rest of the day but then it was like everything was normal again. We spent the day at home, by the time it was lights out she kissed me on the cheek goodnight, her hand running down my arm to squeeze my hand. The next morning she came into my room early and snuggled against my back. Of course I welcomed it, she was a much needed warmth in the early hours of morning. She spoke softly into my ear about how she was cold and I’m always so warm. Her words warmed me more than anything.

She went to visit her mom later in the morning and I went to visit Anya to keep myself occupied. She’s recovering but bossy as ever. 

“We should drink.” She says from her large couch, surrounded by pillows.

“Aren’t you on medication for your ankle?”

“Yeah I’m off that.”

“Then why am I waiting on you hand a foot again?”

“It hurts.” She fake hisses in pain as she reaches for her ankle.

I roll my eyes, pulling myself from her couch to go grab some beers from the fridge.

She grins when I hand one over. “You’re my favorite friend.”

“I’m your only friend.”

“That’s what you think.” She winks at me, taking a swig.  
——  
“What time is it?” I can’t get control of my feet. I’m spinning. Or maybe it’s the room.

“Time for you to go to bed.” Anya bangs her fist against the door. She’s going to wake the dead I can feel it.

The door is moving faster can I can comprehend and it’s making me nauseous. But there’s Clarke. Beautiful sweet Clarke. 

“She’s all yours.” Anya’s pushing me into Clarke’s arms.

“Well hello to you too.” Clarke’s pulling me into the room.

They’re talking to each other but all I can see is blonde hair, it’s unbelievably soft. I should say goodbye to Anya. “Bye Anya!” I turn back to the door but it’s closed.

“Let’s get you to bed shall we?” She doesn’t sound mad so that’s a bonus.

“I’m sorry I drank too much.” I try on my best pout, maybe she won’t be mad at me if I pout, but all she’s doing is laughing at me. 

She plops me onto the bed and moves to my dresser to get my pjs. 

“Are you feeling okay? Do you think you’re gonna be sick?”

She looks so far away so I squint to try to see better.

“Lexa?” She appears in front of me like magic.

“Hm?” My hands find her waist, they’re keeping me steady. Her skin is warm where her shirt has risen up. 

Her hand rests against my cheek, it feels so cool against my heated skin. “Are you going to be sick?” She says softly.

I shake my head quickly side to side. The room is doing summersaults now. 

“Easy.” She rubs her hand through my hair. She looks concerned. “How much did you drink?” 

“A few.” 

“You look like you’ve had a little more than a few.”

“I had a super super super long week.”

She hums softly and rubs the back of my neck. God it feels good. My eyes feel heavy.

“Let’s get you out of these clothes.” She’s tugging my shirt up so I lift my arms even though they feel super heavy. She’s pulling my bra off and then tugging a shirt over my head, everything goes dark for a second but then I can see again. 

She kneels before me and starts untying my boots. I think about her like this, kneeling in front of me, between my legs. 

“Stand.” I’m being pulled to my feet and then she’s undoing my pants. I miss her undoing my pants. I miss her touching me. Her eyes are so blue.

She instructs me to remove my feet from each leg but my legs feel like jelly and I start to fall.

“Steady.” She helps me to sit back down. 

She’s perfect. She’s perfect and she’s caring and she’s smart and she’s- “So pretty.” 

She’s looking at me now and she’s smiling but she looks shy. I should tell her more often. 

“You’ve had too much to drink.” She turns to toss my clothes in the hamper.

I fall backward against the bed feeling so light and free, a giggle escapes me. I don’t giggle, because I’m a tough girl and tough girls don’t giggle, but this feels nice. “That doesn’t change how you’re beautiful Clarke. You’re like a cloud.” That doesn’t sound right. “No! You’re like the sun.” My hands are making shapes above me, I’m not sure what they’re doing.

She’s giggling now. Maybe giggling isn’t so bad.

She puts her hand on my thigh and bends down to pull my socks from my feet. Her hand was cool before but now it feels hot against my skin. She makes me feel hot.

My dick feels tight in my boxer briefs. I just need to feel it. I slide my hand over the curve of it. I miss her touching it. I miss being inside her. I bite my lip feeling myself get hard. She was so warm.

“Woah-hey.” She’s grabbing my wrist and pulling it away. “How about we don’t do that right now.”

“I miss you. I miss your lips on me.” I groan, my dick needs friction, I need her touch. “I need you Clarke.” 

“Shh, no more talking.” She pulls the blanket down. “Sleep. You need to sleep.” She’s tugging me up the bed and into the sheets. “I’ll get you some water.” I open my eyes and I’m tucked under the covers and the room is empty. 

“Clarke?” I call out, the room is spinning. 

“I’m here.” She appears and uncaps a water bottle, holding it to my lips. “Drink as much as you can.” She urges. She looks flushed, maybe she doesn’t feel good either.

I think I drink half the bottle before I feel like my stomach is too full. “Don’t go.” I don’t want to be alone, I need her close.

“I’m not going anywhere.” Her hand feels cool again against my cheek. “I’ll be right here if you need anything.”

Maybe if I just keep my eyes closed the room will stop spinning.  
——  
Oh fuck my life. Why does the sun have to be so bright? I pull the blanket over my head to block out the light. 

I don’t feel good. My head is pounding, my mouth tastes disgusting and I feel like I could puke any minute. 

I hear the water running in the kitchen, Clarke must be up already. Why is she up so early? I lift the blanket and see it’s already 11:30. Why is she making so much noise?

I drag myself from bed, stopping in the bathroom to brush away this disgusting taste and then head to the kitchen.

“Morning sunshine.” She grins.

I grunt in response, dropping down onto the couch and pull a pillow over my head to block out the sun. “Can we close the blinds please?” I wasn’t sure she could hear my muffled reply but then I hear the blinds moving. “Thank you.” I groan, tugging the pillow away.

“How’re you feeling?” Shes back in the kitchen cooking whatever is making my stomach turn. 

“Like road kill.” 

“I made you a greasy breakfast and coffee. Come eat.” She pulls a chair back from the dining table, the dull scrape across the wood floor making me cringe.

I sulk for a few more minutes before dragging myself to the table. Two Tylenol lay next to my coffee. She really is the best. 

I try to eat quickly to get it over with but not too quickly that I lose it before I even finish. 

“When did I get home?” I rub my fingers against my temple. 

“Around 9:30.” She says from the sink, finishing up the dishes.

“Stupid Anya.” I grumble.

“Stupid Anya? She seemed sober when she dropped you at the door.” 

“She did?” How is that possible?

“Yeah she texted me when she got home, she seemed fine.”

Hm. I push my scrambled eggs around my plate. I’m really not hungry. 

“Eat all of that.” She says sternly. “You know you’ll feel better if you eat the whole thing.” 

I groan, popping more eggs into my mouth. I’m never drinking again.


End file.
